On Sunday June 27, 2010 my beautiful Grandmother Chris Niland passed away.
It was only 5 weeks after my Grandpa Eric's passing.
The call was met with many tears, and even now as I write this weeks later, it is hard for me to hold back my emotions.
I love my Grandma.
It's been about 6 years now that she had been sick. She had Parkinson's Disease, and I know that it was frustrating to her to lose her strength and especially to lose some of her memory - because she had always been the Energizer bunny and sharp as a tack. The last few years she had spent in and out of the hospital, and I know that it had been especially hard for her to have recently lost her husband. I am sure that she is happy to be free from pain and reunited with her love.
I remember vividly the moment that I saw my grandma for the last time. It was when I went out to California for my Grandpa's Funeral Party. We were having a lively family dinner - and she was tired so she got up to go to bed. I got up as well - to say good-bye (because our flight left early the next morning). I took an extra long time to give her a hug and hold her close to me. I told her I loved her and she told me that she loved me. And as we walked away - I cried.
I knew that would most likely be the last time that I would see my Grandma Chris in this life.
Most people - when I told them that my Grandma had passed away - commented on what a blessing it was. A blessing that she is no longer in pain. And a blessing that she could be with my Grandpa. And I couldn't agree more... but that for some reason doesn't take away the very real sadness of losing someone that you love. And especially losing two people that you love within such a short period of time. Grandma's passing has been harder on all of us - I think we were just processing Grandpa's death when faced with this... and quite honestly, it has been hard. Ive wondered about that a lot. I mean, she is my grandma. She was 80 years old. She had been sick for years. I knew that she wasn't going to live forever. And I have a firm belief in life and eternal families after death. So then, I have asked myself - why is it so upsetting to have lost her? Reason says that it shouldn't be so difficult.
But it is.
And it is because I dearly love her.
My Grandma Chris is spunky, classy, and elegant.
She is also hilarious, hard working, and thoughtful.
She is the life of any party.
And she is absolutely beautiful.
I hope to be a like the wonderful woman she is.
Oh, where to begin...
Her home was heaven to me. Just a little slice of paradise on earth.
The smell, the feel, everything about it - was home to me.
We always lived far away from my grandparents - but every summer we would travel to San Luis Obispo, California and stay with them for 3-4 weeks.
When we were there - we ate like royalty! She was a phenomenal cook. She was creative - always inventing her own dishes. And they were amazing! Every time we came to visit she would put on the nicest meals in her living room. We would set the table with her tablecloth and fine china. We would put ceramic place cards next to each plate. She would fold the napkins just right. We never set the table without two forks next to each plate. We would light the tall candles that lined the center of the table - and it was a privilege to get to snuff them out with the "candle snuffer" at the end of the meal.
Dessert had a name of it's own... "Wishes at Chris's". She would get out her lovely dessert dishes and then we would each take a turn telling her of our dream ice cream sundae dessert - and she would make it happen. So many different flavors of ice cream, every topping you could dream of, and always loads of whipped cream and a cherry on top. Yum!
And breakfast was another feast. :) Ebelskivers were the tradition. Belgian spherical pancakes that had been the tradition in her Belgian home growing up. We filled them with jams and dusted them with powdered sugar - it was perfection on a plate every time.
But we didn't just eat at my Grandma's house. :)
She had an old record player that she would turn on and dance to with us kids. We danced to old Beatles albums, the Beach Boys, Michael Jackson's first album, a Disney album with the song "It's a Small World After All", and "Hello Muddah, Hello Faddah (A Letter From Camp)".
She loved to take us shopping and sightseeing and discover the finer things in life. She loved to travel and had a world map up in her den with a pin in every location that she had visited.
She was as frugal as they come. She would park in the parking garage downtown when we went shopping for the free first hour, and check her watch to go all the way back to the car - drive out of the garage and re-enter it - so that she could get another hour free. :)
She was an amazing homemaker. Her home was always clean and refreshing and comfortable to be in.
She loved everyone and everything - even the stray neighborhood cats who she could just not refuse to feed!
She loved to walk and walked quickly everywhere that she went.
She was an amazing speller. And she could remember all sorts of numbers off the top of her head. She knew everyone's important dates - and they were never forgotten. There was always a card in the mail for us for every occasion. She called us every Sunday evening growing up - just to visit.
She loved practical jokes. She had a fake lump of dog poop that she would lay around the house and then hide behind a door and watch us react to it. She would also tease up her hair so that it was HUGE and then sneak up behind us to try and scare us.
She always wanted to learn how to play the organ.
She had a strong sense of the importance of family heritage. Every night when we stayed at her home - my sister and I would go into the guest bedroom where we slept to find our double bed with the sheets perfectly "turned down". Then, once we were snuggled in bed, Grandma would tip toe in with her pink robe and slippers on, and sit at the side of our bed and tell us story after story after story. She would bring in family photos and tell us stories about her life growing up, her mother, her father, and often - stories of her maternal grandmother, Mooder. Mooder came from Belgium with her husband and 6 young children. And I respect her and love her... because my Grandma did.
I will never forget my grandma's stories, the wonderful woman that she is, the many ways that she blessed and enriched my life, and the many things that I learned from her.
Summer and I flew out to attend my Grandma's funeral.
It was held on Tuesday July 6th at 10 am at the Old Mission in downtown San Luis Obispo.
My Grandmother loved this old Catholic Mission.
It is the place where my grandparents renewed their vow on their 25th Wedding anniversary 35 years ago.
It was nice to be able to hold the event at a place that we all knew was so special to her.
The funeral was a very traditional and formal Catholic event.
I had never been to a Catholic funeral - and I really thoroughly enjoyed it.
There was a lot of praying and singing, scripture readings, and communion and blessings were given. Thankfully, I had a babysitter for Summer during the event - so I was able to simply sit quietly and reflect on the life of my Grandmother and the life of my Savior. I was very touched by the words of the songs and the prayers given. They seemed to express the sentiments of my own heart perfectly. The deacon spoke - who had known my grandparents for over 20 years. Many tears were shed. My older sister gave the family tribute at the end. It was perfect. Except that it made me miss my grandma. :)
The funeral was followed by a luncheon reception, which was catered by the San Luis Obispo Country Club and held right there at the Old Mission. The food was amazing (which would have been so important to my Grandma). There was a lovely display with photos from my grandmother's life... and my younger sister was playing "It's a Small World" on the piano. So many people attended and had such nice things to say about my Grandma. It was good to see our extended family and meet some of my Grandma's closest friends.
Mostly - it was comforting and peaceful to just be together as a family unit. Neither of my siblings' spouses or kids were able to make it to the event this time - so (as far as my immediate family went) it was just my parents and their four kids. We missed the rest of our family - but there was just a nice feeling of being together - supporting each other - and reminiscing. Here's a candid photo of us in a casual moment that was caught in the gardens of the Old Mission - before the real picture was taken. I like it.
Here's the real photo.
My parents. My Siblings.
Summer and I.
Later that afternoon there was a small family service at the cemetery.
It was nice to be able to see the beautiful site that my grandparents had chosen.
I wasn't able to be there for my grandfather's cemetery service - so it was nice to be able to be there now and feel that closure as a family for both of my grandparents.
My siblings and I were able to see the special Veteran's Memorial at the cemetery that honors all of the veterans buried there. It is currently honoring my grandfather for his military service in World War II. Here's a close up of the memorial.
My grandparents chose to have their urns interned at this crypt.
I think that it is beautiful.
The service was brief and beautiful. The deacon from the Catholic Mission was there to pray and bless the site and my grandparents.
We each had a moment to go up and give my grandparents a rose.
Here's some casual moments at the cemetery.
Dad, Marla, Michael
Tiffany and Summer
Before we left the cemetery we each went up again. It was hard to leave and say a last goodbye. My siblings and I all went up together. Tears were shed. Shoulders were cried on. Loving last words spoken. In that moment my brother reached his arms out to encircle all of us. It's a special moment and a special memory for me - and all of us.
My parents next to my grandparents site. It was special to me to see my mom supporting my dad through this. That's what marriage is all about. And it was special to see the love between my Dad and his sister, as they supported each other during this very difficult time. That's what family is for.
It was a beautiful weekend, full of tears and happy memories. It was good to be with family. We felt close - united in our sadness. And there was a peace, a softness to everyone.
I think San Luis Obispo - my home away from home - will always feel a little different to me now. It won't be the same without my grandparents. I will miss hearing their laughter. Feeling their love. Being near to them. Even just knowing that they are there. The world just feels a little emptier now - doesn't it?
Good bye Grandma Chris and Grandpa Eric. Thank you for the full and wonderful lives that you lived. Thank you for all that you mean to me. I am blessed to have known you. Thank you for the legacy that you have left behind. You will be sorely missed!
* Party Wave! *
P.S. The Party Wave is a simple twist of the wrist - pageant style wave that for some reason has become a VERY long lasting family joke. We party wave every time we say good-bye to each other... and we have been doing that as long as I can remember. Even at the funeral my sister ended her remarks with the "party wave" and we all wept. Thanks for fun, silly family traditions Grandma!
Last week we had a beautiful afternoon thunderstorm.
By the way, here's the expression that I get when I ask Isaac to "smile" for the camera.
And here's the cutest little girl I know...
And I figure that it is about time to show off Summer's serious rolling over talent.
Success.
